Jennifer's Live Journal

Hey Thelma & MB - Need Your Opinion

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:56:11 GMT

Hey Thelma & MB!

I found out my 12 year old niece is really into Manga. Since this is a habit I want to encourage, I want to get her some manga for christmas. However, since I don't read Manga, I have no idea where to start or what to get her. Any suggestions?

Also, the last time I was visiting her, she happened to mention she wanted to learn Japanese. Since this is super cool for a 12 year old, I REALLY want to encourage this. Do either of you have any recommended books I can get for her? Something like "Idiots Guide to Learning Japanese So I Can Read Manga" would be great...

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 21:22:55 GMT

Today is (not) The Day

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 18:41:56 GMT

A fairly intuitive friend told me April 4th would be the Day, and today is the 4th. I must admit, I held out a lot of high hopes that today would be the day, but since its already almost 3pm, the odds of that happening are getting lower every minute.

The other question weighing heavily on my mind right now is this: Should I use pregnancy as an excuse to go home early today? I'd really rather be home right now, and it would be quite easy to make some vague reference to my (male) boss about not feeling well, and would be let go with no questions asked...hmmm...is that exactly ethical?

Superwoman is Tired

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 01:53:10 GMT

There are days that I long for the simplicity of the 1950s. Womankind has fought for decades for equality and power, and now we have what I call the "Superwoman" complex. As said modern day Superwoman, I am the President and CEO of a very complex organization called my life. Unfortunately, said Superwoman CEO is getting more tired everyday, and the stock options in my life company are quickly losing value.

Enough with the shitty metaphors, I suppose. This is by no means a drunk post; it is a post written in shear exhaustion. I spend my days running at top speed, working a complex and high demanding job that requires my brain to be operating at 100% all the time. Then, in every spare moment I'm not working, I'm working a high demanding job at home - cleaning the house, running the errands, paying all the bills, making all the decisions, everything. I think back to the 1950s, when I wouldn't be working at all. My sole job would be house and child care. I wouldn't be responsible for making all the "life" decisions (What car should we buy? Should we refinance the mortgage? Are all the bills paid on time? Who should we call to fix the broken dryer?) In the 1950s, my husband would kindly pat me on the head and say, "Don't you worry your little head about things like that, sweetie." And I wouldn't.

Now, anyone who knows me realizes that kind of existence would surely drive me mad, so my longing for the simplicity of the idealistic 1950s is simply a desire for rest and peace right now at this moment in time. I get inspired when I find myself surrounded by strong powerful Superwomen who are all the CEOs of their family's lives, yet I get frustrated when I see these Superwomen tied to men who's most complex decision they will make all day is what kind of sword to purchase for their WoW character. Decades of fighting for equality, and THIS is what we get?

CELL PHONE FRIED - NEED YOUR NUMBER PLEASE!!!!

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 19:12:09 GMT

My cell phone is completely fried, so bad that Alltel can't even recover the phone numbers out of it. Since I have the phone numbers of every person I've ever met in the past 5 years, this is a devastating loss for me.

Please help me repopulate my cell phone address book. If you can read this, I most likely HAD your phone number and would desperately like it back. Please message me with it so I can rebuild. I will lock the message to protect your privacy.

This message will be reposted everywhere I can.

Year of the Pig

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 18:22:29 GMT

Check out this article from Tampa Tribune - looks like little Zoey is being born under a particularly weathly sign of the Chinese Zodiac. Mama's little cash cow is gonna support us in our old age!

Chinese Hospitals Brace For Baby Boom
By EDWARD CODY
The Washington Post

Published: Mar 4, 2007

BEIJING - The Year of the Pig has turned into the year of the baby. Chinese hospitals have been submerged in recent months under a tide of pregnant women; newborns are arriving in droves; and companies that manufacture diapers are upping their advertising budgets. The reason is simple: The Year of the Pig, which began Feb. 18, is a good year to be born.

Since time immemorial, prospective parents have been told, children born under the pig's patronage will benefit from the animal's image as fat, happy, wealthy and prosperous. Now, couples who schemed to have their babies in these blessed times are hoping for good fortune.

"My family already has two pigs, including my father, and I want to add one more pig," said a pregnant 28-year-old secretary who identified herself only as Ms. Lian. "I guess three pigs will also bring luck to us," she explained. "Also, I believe people who are born in the Year of the Pig are honest because my father is such a person."

Pregnancy Update

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:44:35 GMT

Less than 2 months to go, and I'm feeling every minute of it now. This pregnancy has been pretty easy up until now, but things are starting to get hard. I'm very tired all the time. Last night, I desperately tried to stay up to watch Heroes, made it far enough to hear the words, "Previously, on Heroes..." and passed out. (Thank god for the DVR; I can watch it later.)

If I sit too long, the blood pools in my legs and it hurts when I stand up. I have a sharp pain in the middle of my back most of the time. I have trouble getting comfortable sleeping, and I have trouble getting comfortable sitting. The baby likes to sit very heavy and low, and it keeps pulling my belly down low and forward, it hurts. I have heartburn a lot and pop Tums like they're candy. Speaking of candy, I can't eat any cause I'm trying to be careful about this last little bit of weight gain.

On the good side, I'm really starting to get things together for the baby. I have most of the stuff I need, just missing a few things. Chris surprised me this weekend and finished putting together all the baby's furniture and painting her room. When I went in and saw everything in the room pretty and in order, I almost cried. It looks so cute. The minutes are ticking down and I'm getting really excited about meeting Zoey, and I'm definately ready to be done being pregnant.

My God, People Are Rude

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 13:12:00 GMT

So, since both of our husbands had to work last night, Mary and I decided to go to dinner as our own little mini Valentine's Day celebration. We thought about all the restaurants around and tried to think of one that WOULDN'T be packed for Valentines Day and came up with...The Village Inn.

Mary and I headed into the Village Inn and discover that they are a little busy and a little understaffed. There were about 4 or 5 groups of people waiting for a table, and they said the wait would be a whopping 10 minutes. Considering what the wait would be at other restuarants on Valentine's Day, Mary and I considered ourselves fairly lucky.

However, one group did not feel the same way. This group was two couples who appeared to be in their mid-40s, and from the moment they walked in the door, they were complaining...LOUDLY. They were shocked that there were people there waiting and they complained very loudly about having to wait a whole 10 minutes to be seated. They kept making snide remarks about how the restaurant had no idea how to run a business and how the Village Inn was understaffed because all the waiters had the gall to take off on Valentine's Day. They were extremely loud and obnoxious. I turned to Mary and said, fairly loudly myself, "You know, considering the fact that if I went next door to Outback Steakhouse, I would be waiting 3 hours for a meal, I think 10 minutes is nothing to complain about."

To top it all off, when they called our name and "Party of Two", one of the guys made a snide remark about me as we passed by, saying 'More like party of two and a half." Mary looked directly at him and said, "I guess these days its ok to be rude when you get old."

People can be such jerks.

25 Lines From Star Wars That Can Be Improved if you substitute the word "Pants"

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 16:58:48 GMT

1 A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was 
  in the presence of my old master.
2 You are unwise to lower your pants.
3 We've got to be able to get some reading on those 
   pants, up or down.
4 She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send 
   a detachment down to retrieve them.  See to it 
   personally Commander.
5 These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've 
   got it where it counts.
6 I find you lack of pants disturbing.
7 These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. 
   I suggest we use it.
8 Han will have those pants down. We've got to give 
   him more time!
9 General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
10 I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
11 TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?
12 Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
13 Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants 
     when I was brought onboard.
14 You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.
15 Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.
16 Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
17 That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
18  Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants 
      more heavily guarded than this.
19 Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
20 Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. 
     Especially for  your sister!
21 Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the 
     first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
22 Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.
23 Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken 
    control of my pants,  I advise everyone to leave before 
    more troops arrive.
24 I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
25 You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

Hey llamaturgy or any of my other computer-savvy friends!!!

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:29:37 GMT

My computer at home is acting severely wonky lately and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. One major problem I have, I need someone with better computer troubleshooting skills than me to help me fix!

You know how on every Windows computer from XP to 3.1, you click Ctrl-Alt-Delete to bring out a dialog box where you can either close out a locked program, or force the computer to restart? Well, all of a sudden, my computer doesn't bring up that dialog box anymore. You press the magic "Crtl-Alt-Delete" sequence and NOTHING HAPPENS! Computer has no idea what you are trying to do. This becomes very problematic when a program DOES lock up, then the computer is completely useless. The only thing to do is to force hard shut off by pressing the power button.

I tried searching the internet for "Enable/Disable Ctrl-Alt-Delete", but have found nothing that applies to my problem. Suggestions, anyone, please?

Truly Random Succession of Thoughts

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 15:49:45 GMT

I'm beginning to think there's not enough food in the world to satiate the hunger of a 6-month pregnant woman.

Those Geico cavemen are really starting to piss me off - they are such assholes.

Do all Siamese cats look slightly crosseyed when they gaze at you?

I seem to remember wanting sex on a regular basis. I really hope that feeling comes back at some point in my lifetime.

I sat down this weekend and watched a marathon of "The O.C." - about 3 months worth of episodes saved on my DVR. And no, I am not turning back into a 15-year old girl anytime soon.

Renaissance festials have been in my blood for a over ten years now - a third of my life. Not doing it this year for obvious reasons, but going to rehearsal yesterday, you know What? I don't miss it at all.

Since I can no longer reach my toes to paint them, I will be visiting a Vietnemese boy today to pedicure my feet for me. Its one of the few splurges every pregnant woman should have.

They now sell djembe drums in the "Global Bazaar" section of Target. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

My roommate will be moving out soon so we can make room for the baby. I was getting kind of excited about losing this roommate who eats all my food and doesn't clean up after himself, but then I realized that in a few short months, I will be gaining ANOTHER roommate who eats all my food and doesn't clean up after herself but DOESN'T PAY RENT. Hmmm.... (Love you Dustin!)

My brilliant German Shepard can focus all his energy and attention on a flash of light on the wall for hours. A laser pen is the greatest joy in the world to him.

Speaking of laser pens, my in-laws gave us a laser pen for Christmas. On the package front, it has drawings of cats and dogs chasing the laser light. On the back, it has drawings of owls, sharks and dinosaurs chasing a laser pen. It is a very useful toy, apparently.

Today's cravings, in no particular order: Grilled Cheese sandwiches, corn dogs, Hot brownies with vanilla ice cream and Tijuana Flat's chips with refried beans. I have eaten all of these things in the past 24 hours, yet I still crave more of these.

That's enough for now. Off to pedicure, Joann Fabrics and then Tijuana Flats (for refried beans of course!).

Three Months to Go

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:07:59 GMT

So I just looked at my calendar and realized something amazing - as of tomorrow, I will officially be in my third and final trimester of pregnancy. As of Friday, my baby will be here in exactly three months. I am at once excited and terrified. Not so long ago, April 12th seemed like SOOO far away, and now it seems so incredibly close and I just don't feel ready. I haven't even started on her room and I have next to no baby supplies and stuff. Mentally, I don't think there's anyway anyone can know in advance of their first child whether they're ready or not. Sometimes I think I am, and then sometimes, I just know I'm going to fuck it up royally.

But on the other hand, I simply cannot WAIT to meet Zoey. I had my first dream about her last night, actually holding her and seeing her. I can't even describe the happy, excited, contented feeling I had upon waking from that dream. Its funny, I never really liked kids all that much. I was never very baby crazy. I mean, there were individual kids that I know that I'm crazy about, but as a whole, I pretty much avoided them. Now, my world has shifted completely, and I see babies everywhere. And that makes me happy.

Looking back, I am extremely thankful that my pregnancy has been healthy and relatively boring. I haven't had any problems, and even my normal symptoms have not been all that difficult to deal with. After problems I faced last year, and problems I know my friends have gone and are going through, I thank God everyday for this normal, healthy pregancy. Of course, the biggest and most painful symptom of all lies ahead of me, and in a relatively short period of time. In no way do I expect labor to be as copacetic; in fact, I am a bit terrified. I don't deal with pain very well, and yet I am about to face what has been described as "the most painful experience in humanity". Yet the end result will be worth it, so that's what I will keep my eyes on.

For the first year ever, I did not make a single New Year's Resolution. I don't have the energy in me to focus on minor self improvement goals when I am facing the most challenging and most exciting change in my life. Every spare bit of my energy is going towards this pregnancy, the labor and finally, beginning to raise this new human being that God has entrusted to me. That's enough New Year's Resolution for anybody.

Hey ItsThelmaD!

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 15:33:26 GMT

I, too, need a home address - yours! Can you post here? Comments are screened, yada yada yada.

Nasty Pregnancy Tests

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 15:41:19 GMT

So, as if my sugar levels weren't high enough after the Christmas holidays, I was scheduled for a glucose test today. This is the test they use to determine whether I have gestational diabetes. I was given a little 10-ounce bottle of what looked like soda. I was to drink this bottle down in 5 minutes. Precisely one hour later, they drew my blood to run their tests.

This bottle contained, I swear, liquid sugar. The ingredients listed 5 grams of glucose (sugar) per ounce of liquid. It was the nastiest stuff I have drunk in a long time. It tasted like a very very super sweet, but flat Sprite. Ugh. I really wanted to throw it up immediately after drinking it, but only the knowledge that if I threw it up, I'd just have to drink it down again another time kept me from retching.

I did keep it down and went to my appointment and now I feel wretched. I still feel nauseaous and I have a splitting headache. I never even had that cool sugar high you get from eating too much candy - I went straight through to the sugar crash. Uck uck uck. If the doctor were to call me today and tell me, "Yup, you've got diabetes, no more sugar for you for the next 4 months", I would gladly give up all sugar products with no problem and no complaints right now!

To keep the Mustang or not to keep the Mustang, THAT is the question

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 21:05:02 GMT

So, I've got a bit of a financial dilemma, and I could use some advice. Chris and I have two cars - a Jeep SUV and a Ford Mustang. Chris thinks we should sell the Ford Mustang because it is not a "family car". I must admit that it would be difficult getting a baby seat in and out of that car.

However, I hesistate to get rid of it and buy another car for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that the car will be paid off in a year, and then I will have extra money in my pocket. No matter what, if I sold the Mustang and bought another car, I would have another 5 years of payments, which I REALLY don't want to do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the Mustang; its in perfect running order. It has less than 60k miles on it - really good for a 6 year old car. Besides, with Chris working nights, and having his own work vehicle, its really only me driving a vehicle. The other vehicle stays in the garage and rarely gets driven. I don't want to pay another 5 years of payments for a car that sits in the garage! Since the Jeep IS a better family vehicle, I vote that whoever has the baby, gets the Jeep. The other person drives the Mustang.

What are your thoughts? Get rid of the Mustang for something more "family friendly"? (Or at least something with 4 doors so I don't have to bring the baby out through the trunk?) Or, keep the almost-paid-for Mustang until it falls apart?

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 22:13:24 GMT

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. After, post this in your journal, and give out some letters of your own. Let me know if you want a letter.

ebtb was very sympathetic and gave me:

Christopher - Well, I married him and am currently carrying his child, so if that isn't love, I'm not sure what is!

Cats - My favorite animal of all time, and if I ever sat down and figured out what my spirit animal is, one would definately be a cat. I have four cats right now.

Chocolate, Cookies, Cake - I have a crazy sweet tooth, and that's not just a side effect of pregnancy.

Couch - I am, at my core, a fairly lazy person, and I really enjoy crashing on my couch at the end of the day and doing nothing more strenuous than watching tv or playing video games.

Care Bears - The older I get, the more I yearn for the toys of my childhood. Care Bears and My Little Ponies were my all time favorites. ebtb even convinced me once to go dressed to a con as a giant Care Bear and I let five Sailor Moon girls beat me up on stage. Good times.

Claddagh Rings - These beautiful symbols of true love, with the entwined heart / crown / hands help me get in touch with the small bit of Irish hertitage I have. I love the symbolism.

Chess Match / Combat - While I find myself a bit disenchanted with the current political situation of the Chess Match, at my heart, I still love fighting and performing. Maybe after a few years, my baby will be old enough for me to participate again, and hopefully the current Third Reich in charge of the thing will have moved on by then.

CSI - I like the show. Vegas edition ONLY. Not much more to say about that.

Carrabba's - The best Italian restaurant - they have the most awesome sangrias and bread!

Coca Cola - So much prefered over Pepsi.

For those who would want to know - the sex of the baby revealed!

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 19:46:30 GMT

Must be bored, that's the only time I do quizzes

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 19:43:34 GMT

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) What word best describes unnseelie? Tough
2) Where did you first meet _yarter_? Online (Love@AOL.com)
3) If eddiehorror and obsydian_skye were siamese twins, where would they be joined? Somewhere naughty
4) One thing you can't stand about vick34? That I don't get to see her enough
5) What would _yarter_ do differently in your shoes? So many things, too many to list
6) Would you wrestle misterbonez in jello? Abso-fucking-lutely!
7) If mikozuna were hanging off a cliff, what would ebtb do? Point and laugh
8) What languages does mars_reiko speak? English?
9) What color should mikozuna dye their hair? Purple
10) What would you do if unnseelie died? Cry
11) Are aramis_king and obsydian_skye going steady? No
12) Is aramis_king in a relationship? No, I don't think so
13) What would mars_reiko think of misterbonez? I think she likes him, respects him
14) Does aramis_king know langthorne? No
15) Would mikozuna go out with itsthelmad? Hahahahaha - that would be amusing for all of us
16) What song/movie would you recommend to llamaturgy? Happy Feet!!!
17) Have you ever dated itsthelmad? Umm...no
18) Does unnseelie have a dog? Yes, several
19) Does llamaturgy smoke? No
20) What animal should j3nnyf3r73 be combined with? Cockatrice
21) If aramis_king and misterbonez were spliced together, what would it be like? The best dressed barbarian you'd ever meet
22) What planet should _yarter_ be from? Hopefully for the sake of our unborn child, Earth
23) Would langthorne and butterflysmama look good together? Odd coupling, not really
24) Would llamaturgy be a better ninja or pirate? Definately ninja
25) Are oddduckout and jewelchic6 going out? Not that I'm aware of - Tina would kick some serious ass
26) Do ebtb and penguin_fodder go to the same school? No
27) Did langthorne break up with you? Yes, actually
28) Is _yarter_ single? NO!!!
29) Is unnseelie a nerd? Nope
30) Which president would aramis_king be likely to idolize? Don't know - Lincoln?

Just cause I am curious...and bored

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 16:42:03 GMT

95 - I have been very busy apparently...

(1) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(2) Grease
(3) Pirates of the Caribbean
(4) Boondock Saints
(5) The Mexican
(6) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(7) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
(8) Airplane

(9) The Princess Bride
() Young Frankenstein
(10 ) Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Saw
( 11) White Noise
(12) White Oleander
(13) Anger Management
(14 ) 50 First Dates
( ) Jason X

(15) Scream
(16) Scream 2
(17) Scream 3
(18) Scary Movie
(19) Scary Movie 2
(20 ) Scary Movie 3
(21) American Pie
(22) American Pie 2
(23 ) American Wedding
(24) Harry Potter & the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone

(25) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
(26 ) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
(27) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(28) The Wedding Singer
(29 ) Little Black Book
(30 ) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
( ) Lilo & Stitch

(31) Finding Nemo
(32) Finding Neverland
( ) 13 Ghosts
(33) Signs
(34) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The original Tobe Hooper, not the recent remake)
( ) White Chicks
(35) Butterfly Effect
(36) 13 Going on 30
(37) I, Robot

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(38 ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) Kingpin
(39) Never Been Kissed
(40) Meet The Parents
(41 ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights

( 42) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring

( ) The Ring 2
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(43) Practical Magic
(44) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(45) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(46) I Am Sam
(47) The Whole Nine Yards

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(48) Child's Play
( ) Bride of Chucky
(49) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(50) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Coach Carter
(51) Bad Boys

(52 ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(53) Se7en
(54) Ocean's 11
(55 ) Ocean's 12
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Lone Star
(56) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II

(57) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(58) E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial
(59) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' Daughter
( ) Frailty

( ) Best Bet
(60) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(61) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(62) Ever After
(63) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China

(64) X-Men
(65) X-2: X-Men United
(66) X-3: The Last Stand
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(67) Catch Me If You Can
(68) The Others
(69) Freaky Friday
(70) Freaky Friday (new)
( ) Reign of Fire
(71) Cruel Intentions
( ) The Hot Chick

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
(72) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(73) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(74) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(75) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Varsity Blues

(76 ) Hitch
(77) The Fifth Element
(78) Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace
(79) Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of The Clones
(80) Star Wars, Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(81) Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope
(82) Star Wars, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
(83) Star Wars, Episode VI: Return of The Jedi
( ) Troop Beverly Hills
(84) Swimming with Sharks

( ) Air Force One
(85 ) For Richer or Poorer
(86) Trainspotting
( ) People Under the Stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
(87) The Sound of Music
(88) Parent Trap (old)
(89) Parent Trap (new)
( ) The 'Burbs
(90) The Terminator

( ) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
(91 ) Meet Joe Black
(92) The Nightmare Before Christmas
(93) The Silence of the Lambs
(94) Sleepy Hollow
( ) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out
( 95) The Virgin Suicides

Rejected Wii Games

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 20:34:59 GMT

The upcoming Nintendo Wii will use a revolutionary new controller which won't be used for any of the following:

More Fodder for WoW Addicts!

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 17:17:05 GMT

Why does this remind me of Mary Beth?

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:55:44 GMT

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. "

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared. "

Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

Pregnant...or just fat?

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:43:11 GMT

I am just now starting to show, but I'm at that early awkward stage where strangers won't say anything about it because they are not sure if I am pregnant or just fat. Ha!

Good thing is, at this stage, no random strangers will come up to rub my belly. I am really not looking forward to that part. Any suggestions on how to tell people that it is completely inappropriate to walk up to a complete stranger and rub them on such an intimate part of their body?

If you can read this, you're invited

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 18:11:25 GMT

Just a reminder - coming up this weekend!

Benefits of being pregnant

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 13:55:35 GMT

You know, I've discovered one unexpected benefit of pregnancy. You can become an absolute raging BITCH, and not only will people not blame you for such bitchiness, but they will actually chase down and scold the person who caused you to become a bitch at that point in time.

Case in point: Last night I had a big media networking party for which I am on the board. I had a ton of work to do all night long, juggling a lot of responsibilities, and people kept wanting me to handle more and more. After being there about 6 hours, I was ready to go at about 9pm. I finished up all my duties and had one last task standing in my way.

Because I am the treasurer of this organization, I was responsible for writing the checks for the band and for the event. After a futile search throughout the party to find the board member in charge of the event in order to tell me who and how much to write the checks for, I was quickly becoming exhausted and cranky. (I was deeply regretting my choice to wear heels at this point in time.)

Another angelic board member noticed my pain and made me sit while she went to find the guy in charge. This guy in charge was completely distracted, definately in a party mood, and had definately had too much to drink right now. My friend would grab him, bring him to me, only to have him slip away again. We made several desperate attempts to get him to FOCUS long enough to do his job (including one conversation in which he told me he didn't know who at the band to write the check to, so I should just write a check for $1,000 and sign it, and he'd fill in the name later. Um no - sorry, can't just hand you a blank check for a grand and say sayanara. That's not the way it works.) I am getting crankier and crankier, the more tired I get, until I finally fall full force into full bitch mode, chewing out everyone around me.

Finally, my angel-in-disguise grabs this A.D.D. rattled fool and screams in his face, "Can't you see Jennifer needs to go home and sleep? She's pregnant for Christ's sake!" Startled, he gives me the info I need so I can write the check and leave. As I am leaving, I hear this angel ripping him another asshole for making me wait like that, when I was so obviously needing to go home to sleep.

PS As I am leaving the Seminole Hard Rock, some punk guys trying to find a parking space start following me to grab mine when I leave. They ask me if I am leaving and if they can have my spot, and I said, "Yeah, whatever, I don't care." They shot back with "What the fuck is YOUR problem lady?" I turned around and screamed right in their faces, "My problem is that I am pregnant, I am hormonal, I am exhausted and frankly I don't need to put up with shit from sons-of-bitches like you!" That felt good...